Reflecting on my time in college, I recently realized that for a long period of time, I wasn’t doing okay. Even now, I feel like I’m constantly being hit with feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and dissatisfaction with how I was created to be. However, God has faithfully been pouring out truths to replace those lies. I wish I could say that this is the happy ending to the story, and that my walk with God will be filled with constant rainbows and sunshine, but we can all agree that our temporary lives here on earth will bring on more trials and tribulations. We can also agree that enduring these difficult times can be SO painful.
Earlier in the week, I was asking God why He was making my time here in college so difficult and painful, and why I always feel sad and unsatisfied. I was reminded of the passage in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 that says “…I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest of me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in hardships, in difficulties for when I am weak, then I am made strong.”
It blows my mind that God allows pain, and that He purposefully doesn’t take it away at times. Reading this passage made me realize how selfish I was in my walk with God, and how I forgot that when I gave my life to Him, it meant that my life really isn’t mine anymore, including my pain. My life doesn’t exist for my glory, but His. Obviously, this is easier said than done, and even now I am struggling with accepting this as truth in my heart. However, I want to encourage everyone including myself to take heart and keep on fighting the good fight! It is in our weaknesses that God’s strength is made perfect, and that same strength dwells in us.