I know that God loves me unconditionally, but there are times I just don’t feel loved.
It’s been hard for me to accept that God is sovereign over all my pain and yet allows the thorn in my flesh to remain. Why does He allow my thoughts to torment me day and night when I cry out for help? Why does my heart feel crushed with sorrow and anguish when I seek for peace? Why does my soul feel so weary and restless?
Where are you God? Why is it that whenever I try to seek Your presence, You keep telling me to trust you without giving me an answer? You are my refuge and strength, yet You stay silent as my enemies wage war and crumble my world apart. I feel tired, I feel frustrated, I feel overwhelmed.
But regardless of how I feel, what You keep doing for me surprises me every day.
The more that I want to give up and let go, the tighter that Your grace holds onto me. It amazes me that after all these years, You are STILL chasing after all me. You don’t expect perfection from me in the slightest. You see all my flaws and shortcomings and you STILL want me. All that I have to offer to You is a broken heart, and yet You hold each piece so tenderly in your hands. You eagerly embrace my pain and brokenness with open arms, wanting nothing more than to make me whole again.
You’ve never once given up on me, so I’m not going to give up on you either. Even if I can’t always feel Your presence nearby, I know that you’re fighting my battles for me. There is nothing in this world that can stop Your love, and I know that You’re going to set me free one day. I am YOUR child, and there is no brokenness, no sin, no darkness that could separate me from the love that you have for me. You have called me by name, you have redeemed me, and you have given me hope for a future that the world could never give.