I’ve never been the type of person who is itching to graduate, I don’t have a countdown to summer, I’m not “so ready to be done.” The last few weeks, actually, I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of fear about this chapter of my life ending. To be honest, it’s kind of paralyzing at times wondering what Jesus has for me after this. Not just in my career, or relationships, but even the things He will call me to do and places He will ask me to follow Him in this life. It’s terrifying to me. Because what if at the end of the day I don’t want to go where He's going?
I think the idea of graduating in general has revealed to me deeper strongholds and fears I have about changing seasons and trusting in Jesus. It is so hard being a Jesus follower when you are resistant to moving forward into the unknown. Because that’s always where He is, going before us and guiding us near. But I often find myself choosing to stay stuck somewhere despite knowing that it isn't the best I will have or repeating cycles that aren't even good simply because they are known and I grasp for the known.
But there’s the passage in the Bible where Jesus turns water into wine (John 2:1-11) and the master of the banquet says, “Everyone serves the good wine first, but you have saved the best for last.” In the midst of debilitating fear, Jesus reminds me this; He has saved the best for last. That doesn't mean what came before wasn't good or even great. But it was never his intention for us to stay in the "good old days." His fruitfulness, his abundance, his goodness, it has never been more full than it will be. There’s more and there’s always more. As doors close and I am forced into a new season of life, I want to be more committed to the unknown than the known. And trust that it is well no matter what has gone or what comes.