As the year comes to an end, something God’s teaching me is how all good things are entirely FROM and IN God. It’s so funny how simple truths about God are sometimes not a blast to learn in the moment because it can take seeing and uprooting our inside ISH!! While I was exposed to some really ugly parts of myself this year—how I’m so judgmental, fearful, selfish but also self-hating, controlling, prideful (to cover up my insecurities), and desperate for others to like me—God was working in the lives of those I was trying but failing to love, and was loving them way better (surprise haha). My brokenness couldn't even try to produce God-level goodness because it’s PERFECT and GOD’S!! And instead of demanding more from me, that I get rid of the ugly stuff and get more holy, God’s been asking me to just be with Him, because He just wants to be with me? It makes no sense… but it does... because apart from God we can do nothing, and He loves us no matter what!!
I feel like that's how God’s been answering my questions—“Just be with me.” If I wanna see AAIV change? Have peace about the future? Overcome sin? Step out of comfort? Be part of His justice and restoration? Hear His voice? First prioritize being with God, then LISTEN and OBEY. It’s simple but even as I’m writing this I know I'm occupied by other things. Dedicating actual time to Jesus each day, time that no one else knows about or recognizes you for, is a radical way to live. And doesn’t make things easier—God still asks us to do hard and uncomfortable things as we chase after him and take up our cross. But where I’m distracted, empty, or blind, God’s love and goodness are overflowing. I’ve spent so much time trying to escape the “AAIV bubble” and sulking in the shortcomings of community, I haven’t been celebrating how this community has produced good fruit and ultimately brought me closer to God. There’s so much goodness to thank God for!! My hope is that resting in God and being secure in this goodness will bring us out of our comfort zones and into places of challenge, growth, and deeper love. TRULY our God gives GOOD gifts. If you’re reading this YOU ARE A GOOD GIFT FROM GOD!! ILY AAIV <3